Magnus Chase; Rick Riordan. And the Sword of Summer /

1. Good Morning! You are Going to Die; 2. The Man with the Metal Bra; 3. Don`t Accept Ride From Strange Relative; 4.Seriously,the Dude Cannot Drive ;5. I've Always Wanted to Destroy a Bridge; 6.Make Way for Ducklings,or they Will Smack You upside the Head; 7.You look great without a Nose Really; 8. Mind the Gap,and also the Hairy Guy with the Axe; 9. You Totally Want the Minibar Key; 10.My Room Does Not Suck ;11. Pleased to Meet You. I Will Now Crush Your Windpipe; 12. At Least I'm not Goat-Chasing Duty; 13. Phil the Potato Meet his Doom ; 14. Four Million Channels and There's Still Nothing On Expect Valkyrie; 15.My Blooper Video goes Viral;16. Norns. Why Did I Have to Be Norns;17. I Did Not Ask for Biceps; 18. I Do Mighty Combat with Eggs;19. Do Not Call M Beantown. Like, ever; 20. Come to the Dark Side We Have Pop-Tarts; 21. Gunilla Gets Blowtorched and It's Not Funny. Okay , Its a Little Bit Funny; 22.My Friend Falls Out Of the Tree;23. I Recycle Myself ;24. You had One job ; 25. My Funeral Director Dresses Me Funny ;26Hey ,I Know you're Dead ,But Call Me Maybe; 27.Let's Play Frisbee with Bladed Weapon!; 28. talk to the face , Cause That's Pretty Much All He Got ;29. We are Falafel -jacked by an Eagle ; 30. An Apple a Day Will Get you Killed;31. G Smelly Go Home; 32.My Year of Playing bassmasters 2000 Really Pay Off; 33.Sam's Brother Wakes Up Kinda Crankey; 34. My Sword Almost End Up on eBay ; 35. Thou Shall Not Poop on the Head of Arts ; 36. Duck! ;37. I Am Trash-Talked by a Squirrel ; 38. I Break Down the Volkswagen; 39.Freya Is Pretty !She Has Cats! ;40. My Friends Evolved from a -Nope.I Can't Say it ; 41. Blitz Make a Bad Deal ;42. We Have Pre-Decapitation Party,with Spring Rolls ;43. Let the Crafting of Decorative metal Waterfowls Began ; 44. Junior Wins a Bage of Tears ; 45. I Get to Know Jack; 46. Abroad the Good Sheep Toenail; 47. i Psychoanalyses a Goat ; 48. Hearthstone Passes Out Even More then Grace (Thought I have No Ideas Who That Is) ;49 .Well, There's Your problem.You've go a Sword Up Your nose ; 50. No spoiler . Tor Is Way Behind on His shows; 51.We Have The Talk-About -turning -into-Horseflies Chat ; 52. I Got The Horse Right Here. His name Is Stanley ; 53. How to kill Giant politely ; 54.Why You Should not Use A Steal Knife as a Dividing Board;55. I'm carried into Battle by the first Dwarven Airborne Division ;56. Never ask a Dwarf To' Go Long' ;57 Sam Hits The Eject Buttom; 58. What The Hel?; 59. The Terror That Is Middle school; 60 A lovely Homicidal Sunset Cruise; 61. Heather Is My New Least Favorite Flower ; 62, The Small Bad Wolf ; 63. I Hate Singing My Own Death Warrant ; 64. Whose Ideas Was it To Make This Wolf Unkillable?; 65 I Hate This Part ; 66. Sacrifies; 67 One More, for a Friend; 68. Don't Be a No-Bro,Bro; 69. OHh..S that"s Who Fenris smelled in Chapter Sixty Three; 70. We Are the Subjected to the PowerPoint of Doom; 71 .We Burn a Swan Boat ,Which I'm Pretty Sure Its Illegal ; 72. I Loss a Bet ;
Epilogue
Sword of Summary Pronunciation guide
Glossary

MY NAME IS MAGNUS CHASE I'M ORPHANED AND LIVING ROUGH ON THE STREETS OF BOSTON.GET MUCH WORSE.
I was sleeping under a bridge when some guy kicked me awake and said ,'they're after you .'Next thing i know I'm reunited with the obnoxious uncle , who casually inform me that my long- lost father is a Norse god.The gods of Asgard are preparing for war .Apparently ,if I can't find the sword my father lost two thousand year ago, there will be doom.
But first I'm going to die . this is the story of how my life goes downhill from there..